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Posts Tagged ‘governor

Chris Christie. Working The Cones.

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Written by mytabloids

January 13, 2014 at 12:36 am

Wecht to run for Governor? Campaign office at Carlow?

Former Allegheny County Coroner Cyril Wecht is, according to some reports, about to launch a spoiler campaign for Governor.

If he does, the rumor is that Wecht will use space at Carlow College to “hold costs down.” He also plans to use whatever free staff isn’t busy doing autopsies to just “pitch in and help, for old times sake.”

GOP abandons politicians: Will run Manson and Sirhan Sirhan in 2012

manson_sirhan“It has become clear that our most reliable pool of potential Presidential candidates is a bit, shall we say, shallow at this time.” Said Michael Steele of the Republican National Committee. “The usual batch of Senators and Governors have proven to be less valuable than they were in the past. Larger than life characters such as Ike and Ronald Reagan just aren’t being minted anymore. So we have decided on a new tact.”

While Steele would not come right out and say it, he did not deny that the GOP was considering running inmates Charles Manson and Sirhan Sirhan in 2012.

“They certainly have a ton of name recognition.” He admitted.

Written by mytabloids

June 25, 2009 at 7:29 am

BREAKING NEWS: GOP affairs a “deliberate strategy.”

sandordSouth Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s sexual tryst is the latest in a seemingly endless line of marital indiscretions by GOP lawmakers of every shape and size. And while some think it belies the party’s total and absolute moral bankruptcy, at least one noted political consultant believes the move is “crazy like a fox.”

“The GOP has lost a massive amount of legitimacy over the past couple of election cycles,” Said Tiffany Cox, “But what they are really trying to do is ‘man up.’ The insider strategy papers I’ve seen indicate that even the wussiest GOP wimps are intentionally cheating on their wives so that their constituency, mostly macho douche bags, will perceive them as classic powerful, masculine role models.