Bush Leaves DC, Again.

“Out of an abundance of caution” former President George W. Bush returned to the District of Columbia today…and then immediately left again.

“We just wanted to make sure that he really was gone, once and for all.” said an unnamed source.

“You can’t be too careful about these things.”

A smaller, yet still quite enthusiastic crowd of onlookers once again jeered and applauded as Mr. Bush headed back to Texas.

Chief Justice, removed from Borg Collective, blows oath

A nation was stunned today when Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Justice John Roberts, totally flubbed the Oath of Office as he presided over the Obama Inaugural.  Insider information, provided to us by a former Bush appointee, offers some explanation.

“Once noon came, and Bush was officially disconnected from the hive mind, Roberts didn’t have a clue what to do.” Said Melvin Standhope.  “You have to understand just how devastating that must of been for him and others in the Bush Administration.  They simply didn’t know what to say or do or think…as they’d never been asked to do that before.”

Another former staffer, who was frantically looking for a chip he thought had been implanted in his body several years earlier kept shouting, “Sleep, Data, sleep.”