My Tabloids | Satire on the Mon

It's not true, they didn't come anywhere near my tabloids…

BREAKING: Experts say, “Everything sucks.”

ImageIt may comes as no surprise to your average citizen, but now a series of government-funded research projects have made it official;  everything sucks.

“We were hoping for some vague glimmer of hope,” Said Profession Alan Daniels of NYU, “But there is none.  The world economy is circling the drain, Iran is developing nuclear missiles, global warming is melting everything, Mitt Romney might be President and, worst of all, the Summer Olympics are about to start.  I couldn’t be worse.”

Several of the scientists involved in the research could not be reached for comment, due to an apparent mass-hanging which occurred after the results were compiled.

“They were the lucky ones,” Said Daniels, wistfully.

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Written by mytabloids

June 22, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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