My Tabloids | Satire on the Mon

It's not true, they didn't come anywhere near my tabloids…

BREAKING: Tough new Secret Service rules. Whores MUST be paid in advance!

Dateline: Washington.

Under pressure due to a recent scandal involving Columbian prostitutes in Cartagena, the Secret Service has imposed what some are calling “Draconian” new work rules for its agents. Just released, the rules include stringent new measures to make sure such a scandal “never happens again.”

1) “All prostitutes, whores, strumpets, harlots and ladies of the night MUST be paid FULLY IN ADVANCE for any “services rendered. Should an agent request “additional services,” the fornication must cease until the whore is advanced the additional fees.

2) “As a cost control measure, agents will only be reimbursed on their expense accounts for prostitutes who are on the Secret Service Approved Vendor List. (see agency document AVL – 2012 – 32)

Advertisements

Written by mytabloids

April 29, 2012 at 4:46 am

%d bloggers like this: