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Breaking: Santorum admits he thought he was running for Pope.

rick santorum south carolina catholic churchIn a stunning admission, Rick Santorum today called a press conference to clarify his ambitions.

“I think there may have been some confusion,” Said Santorum, dressed in his trademark sweater-vest and flanked by his entire family.

“My intent was never to be President of the United States. I mean, I guess that would be nice, but what I really want is to be the next Pope, and to shepard the Catholic Church into a new era of regressive, ham-fisted moral certainty.”

Santorum went on to issue what most theologians believe is the first encyclical ever offered by someone other than a Pope, in which he called for the abolishment of “any and all modernism” that has occurred in The Church since the Mid 7th century.”

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Written by mytabloids

January 17, 2012 at 5:01 am

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