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Breaking: Evangelicals in Iowa running out of candidates to hate

santorum evangelicals vote iowaThe sudden ascendance of Rick Santorum, just prior to the Iowa cauces, is not surprising, says one local supporter.

“You know, we just flat ran out of folks to get behind.” Said Allan Lutz of Des Moines. “I used to like Cain, Palin, Bachmann, Newt — but now I hate all those fools. If The Bible tells us anything, it’s that Jesus didn’t take any prisoners!”

When asked for a specific Bible reference to back up his assertion, Lutz said. “Don’t try to trick me, city boy. I’ll be prayin’ for you. Now get your ass off to New Hampshire, where there all you gay liberal atheists congregate!”

Written by mytabloids

January 3, 2012 at 11:00 pm

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