My Tabloids | Satire on the Mon

It's not true, they didn't come anywhere near my tabloids…

Archive for December 2011

BREAKING: Last great leader to embrace pant suits, dies.

kim jong il north koreaKim Jong Il, long time leader of the chauvinistic nation of North Koren, has died of an apparent heart attack.
Tensions on the Korean peninsula are high, as many people pause to ponder whether the “leisure pantsuit” will
remain the de facto standard for leaders there, or whether some other fashion will emerge.

“This is an extremely difficult time.” Said one observer, who refused to use his real name, but wanted to be called ‘Ted.’
“Kim Jong Il, the ‘Dear Leader’ was indeed a fashion leader — along with all that scary stuff. He single-handedly defined the classic couture of North Korean by embracing the classic, clean, crisp, tailored lines of the U.S. in the early 1970s. At this moment, we have no idea what’s going to happen. It could be boffo or it could be bust!”

Another Korean specialist suggested that “Most North Koreans are probably staying at home, hoving around their closets.” “It’s a repressive regime, and none of them will dare show up in public with a pant suit on or a Nehru jacket or wide whale corduroy, until they are absolutely sure it has the complete approval of the government.”

Written by mytabloids

December 20, 2011 at 5:52 am

Editors of most of the major daily newspapers, long used to referring to one generation or another as X or Y, recently realized that they were coming to the end of the alphabet.

“So we just decided to start over,” Said New York Times writer Bill Keller. “We’ve all agreed that the next generation will be Gen A, no matter what they do or say or are known for.”

Not everyone is happy about the unilateral decision.

“I was really looking forward to being part of Gen Z,” said Jason Albright of Staatsburg, NY. I am be only eight years old, but I’ve lived my whole life waiting for this. It totally sucks! Gen A is totally lame.”

Written by mytabloids

December 11, 2011 at 8:24 am