My Tabloids | Satire on the Mon

It's not true, they didn't come anywhere near my tabloids…

Spill was “brilliant plan” to making getting oil “easier.”

Just released documents seem to indicate that BP knew all along that the Deepwater Horizon was a disaster waiting to happen. According to the papers, it appears that BP’s secret plan was simply to let the well fill the entire Gulf of Mexico, and then just “skim off the oil.”

“Oh, it’s a lot easier than fancy rigs and pipelines and going down five-thousand feet under the ocean.” Said drilling expert Bert Pappas. “Basically, all they have to do is punch a bunch of holes into the surface of the earth, and let it flow! It’s a brilliant plan. It’ll save them billions at the end of the day.”

BP executives could not be reached for comment.

%d bloggers like this: