My Tabloids | Satire on the Mon

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Roethlisberger to be tested for “underlying disorder.”

Doctors and therapists will seek to determine if Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has an “underlying disorder” which may have led to his recent spate of sexually-challenged problems.

“We’ll run some totally awesome tests on Ben,” said Doctor Manny Strauch. “We want to determine if he has some serious brain issues or if he is just a total thuggish asshole as most of us assume.”

Strauch said they would be testing for such complexes and diseases as, “Boneheadnitis,” “Dicktedectiphobia” and “Crotchapokeiphitis.”

“These rare, though serious disorders, can lead a man to do thing that a normal, rational human being would not do.”

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