My Tabloids | Satire on the Mon

It's not true, they didn't come anywhere near my tabloids…

Tiger Woods hires Ari Fleischer: Will now invade Iran.

The PGA’s resident sex addict has apparently hired former Bush mouthpiece Ari Fleischer to help him rebuild his shattered image.

Fleischer, who acknowledged the move, said he will rely on a tried-and-true Bush-era marketing ploy:

“We’re going to use Tiger’s substantial war chest to fund the invasion of someone in the Mid East. Probably Iran, since Iraq is already taken.”

According to PR experts, Fleischer is just utilizing the old magician’s trick of “misdirection.”

“With a new war breaking out and the threat of nuclear weapons being used, I have no doubt that people will be distracted from the simple human foibles of one former golfer,” Said, Al Thompson, a media expert.

Rumors have swirled for weeks that Woods, who hasn’t golfed in months, might return at next years Pebble Beach Ho-Am.

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