My Tabloids | Satire on the Mon

It's not true, they didn't come anywhere near my tabloids…

Jackson “Funeral Tour” sold out. Some fans settle for “lesser” deaths.

jackson_ticketAs was expected, the demand for tickets to the farewell “Funeral Tour” of Michael Jackson far exceeded the number available.

“We really wanted to be there,” Said Rita and Lou Carmone from Fresno, but now we think we’re going to have to just go to my Uncle Al’s funeral the same day. It won’t be as lavish, but Al always had a lot lot of liquor around, so we think it’ll be fun anyway.”

Other Jackson mourners are doing the same thing; settling for wakes and funerals and other services which don’t have the long lines, lotteries and difficult parking situations.

“My Mom died the other day, and her service is on the same day as Michael’s.” Said Art Stander, “When I found out I wasn’t going to get a ticket to the Staples Center, I decided I might as well be there when they lower that old biddy’s body into the cold ground.”

Written by mytabloids

July 5, 2009 at 8:03 pm

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