My Tabloids | Satire on the Mon

It's not true, they didn't come anywhere near my tabloids…

All GOP Senate & House Members to admit to sexual flings.

boehnerIn what a spokesman is calling a “preemptive move,” over a 150 male Republican Members of the Senate and the House of Representatives will immediately admit that they have had affairs with female staff members. A special detail of the Capitol Police will be sent to the steps of the Capitol, to help manage what’s expected to be a throng of tearful, impromptu news conferences.

“We want to clear the air,” Said House Minority Leader John Boehner, “So that we can get on with the business of obstructing and posturing.”

GOP political consultant Brian Johnbender, who has managed campaigns for some of the most heinous thugs, womanizers and slimeballs in the Grand Old Party said he basically agrees with the concept.”

“Better to get this out of the way before the next election cycle is upon us. We need a clean slate, so that these men can get a fresh start with all the hot new young women who come to DC every year.”

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