My Tabloids | Satire on the Mon

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Johnny Depp rushed to Somalia

deppBoth the US Navy and the FBI have admitted they are “stumped” and have now turned to their “secret weapon” to help resolve the pirate kidnapping standoff near the coast of Somalia.

Early today, actor Johnny Deep was flown from Burbank to Mogadishu, where he plans to employ a series of “highly creative and hilarious antics” in hopes that it will distract the pirates.

“My idea is that they’ll be laughing their asses off at my clever stunts, and we’ll just wrap them up in fishing nets….or something like that.” Said Depp. “If that doesn’t work, I may just give them autographs, at which time huge talking fish will jump out of the water and swallow them whole.”

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