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It's not true, they didn't come anywhere near my tabloids…

Amish plan for world domination, “Right on track.”

amish“Who’s really to blame for the global economic crisis?”  That question has been nagging people since last year.  Now however, a surprising answer has come to light.

A secret report, printed in pencil and apparently the work of a central Pennsylvania Amish sect, has led some experts to a startling revelation.

“The Amish are set to take over. Soon.”

That’s the conclusion of Professor Louis P. Fralinger, who has personally seen the alleged “smoking gun” document.

“When you think about it, who is better equipped to deal in a post-industrial society?  Can you plant corn?  Can you make a barn?  Can you metrosexuals even grow a decent beard? Listen, when the Stock Market finally bottoms out at 122 and oil prices spike to $500 a gallon and inflation reaches 1000%, the Amish “way of life” won’t be effected at all.”

Perhaps most revealing is that, according to Fralinger, this has been the plan all along.

“Don’t think for a minute that they were just sitting around plowing dirt all day!  They knew exactly what they were doing.  If things continue as they are, it might not be too long before you find yourself trading your 42″ plasma TV for a bushel of corn and squash….and their world domination plan will be complete.”

On a related note, Hollywood fashionistas say that “Funky Amish” clothing should be seeing its way to runways this Spring, and Fox Television is planning a new reality show, “Are You As Stupid As The Amish Think You Are?”

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