My Tabloids | Satire on the Mon

It's not true, they didn't come anywhere near my tabloids…

Steeler Tragedy! Sully flies team home. Lands in Mon. No one survives.

lombardiThe entire Pittsburgh Steelers team was drowned today, after Captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger, apparently still flying high from his appearance at the Super Bowl, decided to once again ditch his US Airways Airbus 320 in a river, this time the Monongahela.

“Unlike what happened in New York City recently, this didn’t turn out to be the “Miracle on the Mon,”” said Pittsburgh Police Lt. Kevin Lyman. “Personally, I think the whole think had gone to Sully’s head…and he was showing off.”

The jet was able to fly under the Ft. Pitt Bridge, but once it splashed down near Station Square it just, “Dropped like a pass thrown to Limas Sweed.” Said one observer.  “Never had a chance.”

David Letterman, who was going to welcome QB Ben Roethisberger onto his show tonight, expressed his regrets and will instead interview Charo.

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